"When Things Fall Apart"

Perhaps it is fair to say that everyone has had moments in life when the sh** hits the fan (am i allowed to use the Carlin 7 on this blog? - we'll get to an opinion on that another day....), times when we find ourselves below the point of being 'in the dumps' and even sunny days begin to look like dark nights... Blessings to you if you have never felt that way, but if thats the truth? Chances are, you have not been paying much attention. Through a recommendation of a very special woman (will get to more about her later) I came across a phenomenal book that I would like to share, "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chondron. Unfortunately, the truth is,  I have had moments in my life when if things had only fallen apart THAT would have been nice because I felt like humpty-dumpty cracking into little bits as he falls off that ledge and I didn't think there was a damn chance of any great horse or man, no matter how skilled, that could have put my ass back together again. And I don't think that I am the only person who has been found on the grass bleeding  ugly yolks & egg whites from my heart. 

So, ahh... in walks.... Pema Chondron - an American Buddhist Nun. Part of the beauty of this book is that she presents concepts of Buddhist Philosophy without being didactic or moralistic. (we've all met THAT guy and most of us don't want to hang out with Mr. Judgement, especially when we're battling the blues) The light of her words is compassion. How can we use this experience that we are perceiving as 'pain' to discover compassion for ourselves as well as the 'other' whom we may believe is creating this trial and tribulation within us....."When Things Fall Apart" offers the advice to slow down and take a moment to honestly feel that place of chaos  - "Relax as it is" and allow " This Moment to Be the Perfect Teacher."  What, am I Crazy?  Answer is definitely "Yes!"  but stay with me here!  Just for amusement, read this next thought.....

 She mentions the practice of Tonglen.  The idea of breathing in the pain of others and releasing it as happiness - take the emotion; for example, sadness.  We see someone bereft and crying - often we turn away.  Instead,  with Tonglen we breathe in the tears, and the emotions of grief, feel it inside of us, then send out / exhale happiness & light to the both the individual in pain and to every soul in this universe who is bereaved.  We can even practice Tonglen on ourselves.  Try it, It brings a sense of lightness and joy to our sprits.

 This 'trauma' we are going thru becomes a beacon so that we can open ourselves up & recognize the transformative nature of what we often label as "pain"

Another Thought....

She used the words, "Lean In" to that tender place - It's OK to feel 'pain/fear/sadness whatever emotion or situation that is making us bleed....

Instead of turning away ? We can take take a step back and use this as golden moment by being aware of and accepting what hurts instead of acting out our usual shennanigins of running away and not facing the monsters that follow us. I have heard this concept from many spiritual teachers.... We run, We run and we keep Running because we think that we can beat those demons in this race of life.  But, unfortunately, we all know, they will continue to follow us both in our dreams and waking hours.  So, what happens if we actually slow down and take a moment to look directly at them?  Instead of the usual choices of turning Left or Right - Perhaps we also have the option of just standing in the center and allowing the winds of change, the waves of anger, the rain of chaos, or the freezing cold of loneliness to just wash over us.... ah... we have accepted the moment thru stillness.  Furthermore, it may feel like the ground is shifting beneath our feet  but Honey, it always is! - so we might as well earthquake with it!

 We all possess the courage to turn around and face these emotions -  say "hello" and befriend our demons. I assure you they are never even nearly as ugly or scary as we have imagined. There is so much that she says in 200 pgs - so feel this as a Brief intro to discovering "that there is a fundamental path for happiness right within our reach" -  accepting ourselves and others with compassion and love.  But since I'm on a ramble.... one more thing....
The idea of being a Nun (which never felt like a genuine choice for me) brings in another little fact that I was fascinated to learn from this book - Renunciation is about letting go of the things that distract us from our true essence; ie: alcohol, possessions, sex, drugs, rock'n'roll..... It's not about being holier than thou (did you hear that, Mr. Judgement?). She refers to these 'distractions' in life as 'babysitters' when things go down & the ship sinks, we look for anything that will relieve the intensity of our emotions and the reality of loneliness.  She discusses in depth the stillness of meditation.  Imagine just sitting still... noticing your body, your breath, your potential.  Thoughts come and go constantly we notice them, but there is no need to cling or judge - "good/bad - happy/sad"   Just recognize them as "Thinking"  we can touch them "as a feather touching a bubble..."  and let them go.  There is no wrong or right, Just a middle road  and we have the courage to stand there with Love and Compassion.....

So, the Phenomenal Woman who shared this " heartfelt advice with me during a difficult time" is Karen Kuehn.  She is a Glorious photographer.  You can see some of her work on my New & Improved Website, Meredithblis.com and lots more pics on her site, KarenKuehn.com.  She is a freelance photographer with an eye that captures both beauty and the essence of the people whom she photographs.  Her work focuses primarily on musicians.  She lived for many years in NYC and now calls New Mexico home. Check out her Work!

  Love, Light and Compassion to you, Til we meet again.....  Awaken Bodichitta, Compassion for Yourself (& others :)